Values
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Food for Thought
Judge of Probate Richard Dean
Do you ever find yourself in discussions and the group is pondering the woes of society? What about in discussions and the participants wonder, “How did we get ourselves in the mess we seem to find ourselves?” The answer could be a simple six-letter word: Values.
Values are a set of beliefs that cause an individual or group to behave in a particular manner in relation to a given situation or set of circumstances. However, for this article I am going to focus on individual instead of group values because individual values drive the group’s beliefs. In the end, I will touch on group values just a bit to wrap up this article.
Our value systems drive our lives, and we hope other people’s values are like our own. For most of us, values often cause more internal conflict than any other thing in our lives. Simply put, our value system is our conscience; or for some the lack thereof.
Our values often cause us to internally wrestle with a course of action. We often have a part of ourselves wanting to do one thing while another part wants to do something differently. Maybe one part wants revenge while the other part argues forgiveness.
A great depiction of values at play are the Looney Tunes characters. Sylvester the cat and Yosemite Sam come to mind. Do you recall the episodes where Sylvester or Yosemite Sam had (little depictions of themselves) the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? One encouraging mischief or debauchery with the other discouraging that type behavior while encouraging moral, upright behavior and/or self-control.
The little devil on one shoulder saying, “Go ahead, do it,” whatever “it” happened to be. Maybe Sylvester was struggling with whether or not to eat Tweety Bird or Yosemite Sam was trying to decide whether or not to shoot Bugs Bunny or some other cartoon character. They were having internal struggles with competing values.
Just thinking of those old cartoons makes me laugh, but I now realize there were a lot of things (morals, creativity, logic, etc.) one could learn from them. Like the characters mentioned from the cartoons, we often find ourselves in similar proverbial wrestling matches, without the laughs. In life, the stakes are much higher because the outcome is much more critical than an outcome in a cartoon. The stakes could be as minor as getting the “evil eye” or as critical as the fate of our nation.
We often find ourselves in situations where we must evaluate values against one another and decide which value(s) will rule the situation. Some values such as truth and freedom have essential worth. Other values such as responsibility or courage may simply be a means to an end. Finally, there are other values, such as patriotism, that we consider to be sacred.
Our values obviously have a hierarchy. That hierarchy will vary depending upon each individual and often even upon the circumstances at the time. A value I determine as sacred may mean nothing to someone else or vice versa.
Take for example a military person. He/she may value patriotism and the flag above most every other value. To one person, the flag may represent the blood spilled, lives lost and preservation of freedom and democracy. To another the flag may represent oppression, suffering and shame. To yet another, the flag is nothing more than a piece of colored cloth that is pretty to display on select holidays, and he/she could not care less about the preceding stances.
Why is this? It is because our life experiences drive our value systems. Those experiences include all life’s events from insignificant and non-consequential to major life events with drastic impacts.
People with whom we came into contact from the day we were born until today helped shape (and continue to shape) our value systems. From family to teachers, to church leaders, to friends, and even to strangers whom we encounter along the way, they have all helped shape our value system. Often the person who had an impact on us never knows.
My parents and grandparents had a significant impact on my value system, more than they could ever know. They laid the foundation and taught many things to me by their examples and directions. Speaking of direction, one thing I learned from my mother at an incredibly early age was to not expect to get my way by throwing a temper tantrum in public. I tried that once. I do not remember how old I was, but it was before I started school. It definitely had a significant impact and helped shape my value system – enough said on that subject.
My first-grade teacher, Mozelle Fielding, also had a great and positive impact on my value system. In addition to learning school “stuff;” I learned the Golden Rule, the Lord’s prayer, and to meet deadlines. My fourth and fifth grade teacher, Audrey Hatchett, influenced my values for truth and respect. J. L. Holmes, for the man he was and what he experienced during his military service, influenced and drove home my values of patriotism and responsibility to country.
What one sees as a major and significant event, another may see it right the opposite. Often the impact on the individual is driven by the preparation the person received to the point of the event. The better prepared the person is, usually the less significant the event. The less significant the event, the less likely the event will change or drastically alter one’s value system.
To an immigrant who fled Nazi Germany or a communist dictatorship, freedom may mean everything. To an American who grew up being free with no worries, freedom may not mean that much. On the other hand, if that freedom is threatened or removed, it may rise in importance to the point where the individual may be willing to sacrifice his/her life to maintain their freedom.
Everything we have experienced is rolled into one big ball of who we are as individuals. All our values collectively shape, or should shape, the values of our nation. As we see the values of society and our nation changing, we must ask ourselves, “Why?” If we are honest, we will most likely find societal values are changing because we as individuals do not take a stand as our ancestors did.
We will probably find that we have become more lackadaisical in what we expect from our children and from each other. We will probably discover we have fallen short on teaching our children the values we held most dear. We will probably find that in our efforts to make things easier for the generations who follow us, we have tossed aside the values of our ancestors; the values that made our nation and society strong.
The word “values” is a short word. However, our values or the lack thereof have the most impact on where we are as individuals, as a society and as a nation. Those values also drive where we are headed.
What has happened to society? How did we get here? I wonder. Until next month, stay safe!