R&R takes on new meaning
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Faith Fitness
Bro. Sam Kaufman
This piece is strictly for husbands.
Get ready for some meddling!
The young couple went to their pastor after a period of not getting along. They needed some counseling. The pastor asked the woman if she tried heaping coals of fire on his head.
She told him no, only hot grease from a frying pan.
It can get ugly sometimes.
But here’s some grand advice for husbands in the form of a Bible verse: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Solomon’s nugget of knowledge is good for all. But it can especially be of help to husbands. It’s not easy to accomplish, but it works.
Consider it a diffusing method in your marriage.
In this case, it’s all about the R&R — recognizing and reacting. First, the situation must quickly be assessed — or recognized — that a match has been lit. Typically, that part is easily discerned by tone of voice, look on face or simply the words themselves.
Reaction is the difficult aspect.
Will it be of the knee jerk variety, or will it be calm and calculated with a purpose?
This is where your relationship with Jesus comes into play. He can see you through with a quenching reaction. The right words in the right spirit work. Swallow the pride.
Saying nothing doesn’t help. That method usually elicits anger. It can add fuel to the fire.
But after a grenade has been launched, a small window of time exists for a proper reaction or response.
At that point, the ball is still in your court. You can swish a 3-pointer — nothing but net — or miss miserably — air ball — from the free throw line.
The calm, calculated response works so well in the heat of the moment. It many times catches them off guard. Try it!
There’s a short time when a small fire that starts somewhere in a home can be doused with a garden hose.
If not, it quickly spreads, and the fire department is summoned in hopes of saving the house.
The fire will either rage or be snuffed out.
Add some dry kindling to it and watch it grow. Put a hose on it and see it deflate.
As husbands, and men of God, we are the key to making things work in the household. You want to be treated like a king; first treat her like a queen.
That’s a sound method right there. It’s biblical, as well. In other words, you’re going to reap what you sow in your marriage. Be like Dairy Queen with a slogan of: “We Treat You Right.”
You treat her right, and she’ll treat you right. You hold the key in your hand. Marriage is a two-way street. It’s not always about what you can get, but what you can give.
Do you truly love her as Christ loves the church?
We’re going to be held accountable.
I didn’t know how much I loved my wife until I almost lost her to illness a few years ago.
Prior to that, she always got on to me about not opening doors for her. After she recovered from her sickness, I promised I would do it. I opened every door for her — but only for about two weeks before reverting to my old ways.
I need to get back to that.
God, help me.
Sam Kaufman pastors The Church of God at 405 13th Ave. N in Alex City. Contact him at 432-266-0154.