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Happy birthday!

  Happiest of birthdays to Mr. Butch Hardman! We hope that you have a wonderful and blessed day!   With love, Your family and friends

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A good excuse

  Submitted by Paul Shaw A friend of mine, Tommy Comer told me this one. A man in his fifties had never owned a sports car, but was finally financially able to own one. So he bought a shiny new Jaguar. On the way home he decided to really try it out. He got it…

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Texas

“Sean of the South” By Sean Dietrich   Editor’s note: This column was written May 25, 2022, following the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas.   A rural school. An overcast day. Mrs. Welch arrived early to work driving her husband’s truck. There has been a lot of rain lately; she almost didn’t get here this…

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Recess: Hymn association

A southern minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word, and you are going to help me preach.” “Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross!”…

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Waterways

  Summer is fast approaching. I have my first sunburn, and oh boy is it a doozy. We aren’t talking a little bit of sun on the cheeks and shoulder tops. We are talking front, back, up, down, completed with a nice little heat rash on my neck. Suffice to say, I’m a little bit…

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Recess: Advice to an old guy

Sent by Paul Shaw   An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was nearby, “What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?” The trainer looked him up and down…

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Ask Accordia: Hypertension, or high blood pressure

Ask Accordia: My doctor told me my blood pressure is on the high side and I need to get my numbers down or I will have to take medication to lower it. I want to avoid medication if possible. What can I do to lower my blood pressure without taking prescriptions?    Having hypertension, or…

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A Quaker threat

Sent by Paul Shaw   I’m a Baptist, so I’ll tell this on the Baptist. Bro. Hershel Owen; pastor of a Baptist church in Gordo, Alabama; told me this joke. A Quaker owned and milked a cow. This cow would make even a preacher want to cuss it, the way it would kick over the milk…

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Where’s the barbecue?

        I was talking to a friend of mine who’d made a trip to Central Texas to visit friends. Her friends took her to their favorite local barbecue joint, and she was in absolute, utter dismay. She was upset because her barbecue was, in her opinion, dry, flavorless and disappointing. Upon further…

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Garth Brooks and the weird, weird life of Chris Gaines

  Author’s Note: I know Garth Brooks isn’t Southern by birth. However, I think that his music catalog earns him an honorary title. In 1999, the world was introduced to Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines is a shaggy haired, eyeliner smeared, constantly moping pop-rock star who had numerous chart-topping albums, a life-crippling addiction, and a past…

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